…TO HAPPINESS…
Stage 26 / Friday 22 May / From Cahors to Lascabanes / 20 km
Ah! Crossing the Lot at daybreak by the Valentré bridge, it’s invigorating! Legend has it that it was called the Devil’s bridge, because he is said to have slowed its construction from 1308 to 1378. I lean way back in wonder at this masterpiece with three crenellated towers, constructed stone by stone over 70 years. And I discover sculpted on the central tower a little devil, his claws caught in the stone and who looks at me with terror: it’s diabolical and at the same time it’s just pure delight!
I climb the steep southern bank of the river at a brisk pace. I turn back to contemplate the town encircled by the curve of the Lot. Bounding up the high steps surrounded by bushes without flinching, I feel that my heart is now trained for the effort. No doubt, polished by the succession of stages, I confirm to myself that I’ve become a shining walking star. I remember what a veteran pilgrim confided to me last night in the hostel: “Happines is not at the end of the trail; it’s each moment of the trail!”
And it’s true, it is a simple happiness, that of perseverance becoming easier day by day. It is happiness caused by measurable achievements: my stages! I have less and less concern for the ones ahead. I’m like a solitary monk reciting his breviary in circling the cloister day after day. “Prayer becomes more and more enriching, and the sense of being privileged is stronger and stronger”: that is what was affirmed to me one day … by a Benedictine.
Yes, I am privileged: my own cloister is the “Camino”, this path to Compostela that one travels, in a way, somehow distanced from the world. Penetrated with thoughts, delighted by the discoveries of my walk, I forget the world beyond, which is little concerned with me, the humble pilgrim passing through. And the opposite goes similarly for myself: I easily put aside the preoccupations and miseries of this world, which I have chosen to set aside during this pilgrimage. A monk in his cloister would no doubt do better, for he is supposed to pray for the world even though he remains set apart from it …
Thus I savor happiness in avoiding too much implication in the misery of others. I don’t really know how to grasp all the reasons for my happiness, but I tell myself that I must have some in order to provide it to others. I consider also that if I were weighed down by misfortune, I would have even less leisure to think of others – which remains to be seen, given that one often perceives solidarity among those who are themselves in need. Perhaps better said: “It’s because I fear unhappiness that I seek to put myself in a position of least regret. And that’s why I’m on the Camino, to get away from the world.” So here is a certain hypocrisy revealing itself in my quest for happiness: “Out of sight, out of mind!” implying “far from the world’s miseries!” I avoid them so well, my eyes fixed on my route …
Nonetheless, wrestling with the concept of happiness—and its opposite, misfortune—am I not putting myself in the position of the Levite who continues his road ignoring the unfortunate man who was beaten and robbed, now lying in the ditch? Pouf! My feeling of happiness flies away! In avoiding unpleasantness, and gripping tightly a fictitious concept of happiness, I risk passing by the deeper joy and higher plenitude that it might bring: that of doing good … Although, once the door is fully opened to compassion, I might well become inversely the fireman of so many fires and injuries of life that I wouldn’t know which way to turn!
“Happiness is in the meadow, run there quickly, run there quickly. Happiness is in the meadow, run quick before it gets away!” [Le bonheur est dans le pré, cours-y vite, cours-y vite. Le bonheur est dans le pré, cours-y vite. Il va filer !]. (Paul Fort – Le bonheur [happiness]) … This rhyme from my childhood suddenly comes back to me. And while I recite it, to the cadence of my steps, hup, a new breath of happiness fills me! “Jump over the hedge, run quickly, run quickly. Jump over the hedge, quick, it’s run away!” [Saute par-dessus la haie, cours-y vite, cours-y vite. Saute par-dessus la haie, cours-y vite ! Il a filé !] …
Harmonious ballad, you let me discover how vain it is to panic. You tell me: “Live in the present, make a friend of time, not a challenge. Let come what comes, for you cannot change the course of what is beyond you: a profound truth which unceasingly withdraws behind the horizon!” A truth which taunts me, but in the end, how much happiness will accrue in my dogged determination to pursue it steadily?
